Leave Me Alone

Leave Me Alone

Sometimes all my safe guards seem to fail at once. The people I trusted to keep me safe sometimes fail me. 

Last night, for the first time, he called my phone number. My number that I have kept hidden from all of his family, I thought. But again, I have a mole. I am not sure who. 

When the name showed up on the caller id I completely lost it. There was no controlling my reaction. It just was instant crying and screaming. Why is this happening again? How can this be happening? Who did this? Where did I go wrong? How did I let this leak? 

Then spiraling into how it’s going to be non stop harassment again.

Him calling constantly from any number he can, having people call and tell me he’s in the hospital or whatever they can to get me to reply. Over and over again. The night I got the restraining order, he emailed me 36 times in 2 hours. The only reason he stopped is because the cops showed up. 

I have his email blocked. I can’t even imagine how much he’s emailing me right now. 

It has been 8 years since I ended everything with him. 8 fucking years, yet he still can’t leave me alone and let us live in peace.