An Open Letter to Her

An open letter to my ex husbands first wife:

I thought I knew what happened and I didn’t. I wanted to fight for him to have the kids back. I let him convince me you were the problem. I believed all of his stories. 

Then it happened to me. 

The further I got into the control and abuse I realized you were just doing the best you could. He tried so hard to make me break and go insane, but I was older and had already lived through a lot and I could see what he was doing. 

But you, you were so young with 2 babies and all you had was him. He pushed you until you cracked over and over again, I’m sure with the same smirk I would see when he came close to breaking me. 

The strength you had to have to finally get out at such a young age, I’m not sure I would’ve had. 

I am sorry I judged you. 

I am sorry I was not there for you. 

I am sorry I listened to the monster.

I am sorry we can’t have a relationship because of the fear we share of it somehow leading back to him. 

In the end, our stories seemed so similar. A restraining order to protect our babies. Moving far away and hiding so he couldn’t find us. The relentless stalking we had to hide from. I now understand why you made the decisions you did and why they were so extreme. It all made sense once I was living in a similar nightmare all orchestrated by the same monster. 

I am sorry I ever judged you and that I chose him over our friendship.